Aim and Fire
by CecilyAurora
Summary: Being peed on by his own daughter is not exactly how he planned when it was determined that he and Ruzek would be on babysitting duty one afternoon. What other troubles arise when two detectives are left with three kids and theirs a football game on?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Being peed on by his own daughter is not exactly how he planned when it was determined that he and Ruzek would be on babysitting duty one afternoon. What other troubles arise when two detectives are left with three kids and theirs a football game on?

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zip. I'm a broke master's graduate looking for a job. Eventually I'll hopefully own something but the character's of CPD- yeah that will never happen.

 **So this idea came into my head and even though the summary sucks and it took me a while to come up with a title, I hope you enjoy! Thanks!**

 **Aim and Fire**

"You sure you can handle this, Jay?" Erin asked nervously as she gathered everything in her purse that she would need for the day out. "I mean I can take one with me."

"Nah, I got this. Ruzek is coming over with Benji so that will keep Dominic entertained. All Maddie does is sleep. I can handle them." I guaranteed her. I think I can handle six hours with my two kids without Erin's help. She deserved this time off.

She shook her head letting out a little laugh, "Because trusting you and Ruzek with three kids just seems like the best idea."

"Oh come on Er, I can handle our kids." I huffed. They weren't bad kids either. Dominic was a toddler, a hyperactive normal toddler who spent his days exploring anything he can get his hands on, asking way to many questions, and fighting for what he wanted to do. Maddie on the other hand was laid back and still only an itty- bitty baby at four months old that enjoyed sleeping over anything else these days.

"You're positive about that?" Erin kinked a brow at me, "I don't think you've ever been alone with both of them before, Jay."

I let out a laugh, covering up the nerves I held inside. "Well weren't you the one who use to say practice makes perfect?" I added a playful wink at the end of it, teasing her.

"Shut it." She threw her sweater at me before continuing on with getting ready.

"You love me, you know it's true."

"At times I wonder why." Erin teased me right back, staring at me with her hazel eyes. "Why don't you go make sure your son who you left in the kitchen alone is behaving while I finish getting ready?"

"I personally believe you should just stay home and wear this all day long." Erin was wrapped in a fluffy robe to keep the warmth with her body from the cold temperatures outside their home. Underneath the robe, I noticed the silky black bra and matching panties set that brought me to my knees.

"Nice try Jay, but I'm going out with Kim." Erin laughed ditching the robe for a pair of jeans and a cream colored sweater. "You have your man's night."

I was enjoying teasing and flirting with Erin, something we missed as the work days became longer as it led up to the holidays and Erin being exhausted and usually in bed by the time I get home, that was until a bang and a cry coming from down the hall.

"Crap." I hissed pulling away from Erin.

All she responded was "I told you to keep an eye on him."

Keep an eye on him? He's a kid. Can't I just put him in front of the television to be entertained? It worked for me as a kid and I think I turned out pretty damn normal.

"Daddy fall!" Dominic screamed as I made my way towards the living room. He was having a terrible two meltdown because he fell from the arm of the couch to the couch cushion. The bang came from him throwing books on the floor because the couch caught him.

"The couch caught you huh? How'd that happen, Dom? Didn't Mama say no falling on the couch?" I tried to hold in my laughter. Falling from the arm to the cushion would not hurt anyone. Erin made sure to get the comfiest couch available when Dom first started all of this.

"I no fall, it caughted me." He managed to get out, hugging on to me tightly.

"Well then we need to punish the couch then, don't we?" I continued on teasing, trying to deescalate the situation anymore. I witnessed an original terrible two melt down the night before where everything in his room was off the shelves and out of drawers because of Erin sending him to his room for trying to climb into the crib where Maddie was sleeping peacefully.

"Uh-huh." Dominic nodded wiping his snotty nose on his pajama sleeve. Did I mention toddlers are nasty, disgusting and uncontrollable?

"What should it's punishment be, Little Man?"

"Punch it!" He cheered stopping his crying immediately. I always wondered how kids could manage that, the ability to stop their tears in a second and then look like they haven't even cried. "Punch it, daddy! Punch it!"

"Punch it? That seems like a good punishment for hurting you. Go ahead, punch the cushion, Bud." I just watched, holding in my laughter as he tried with all his might to punch the leather couch cushion. "That's a very good punch."

"Teaching my child to punch, Jay. How appropriate." Erin stood against the door frame with a smiling wide awake Maddie in her arms.

Even though Maddie was still a baby, I could tell her and Dominic would be completely different- from personalities to looks- when they get older.

When Dominic Parker was born, he made the world know it. Born about two months early on New Years Eve at 11:55pm, he wanted everyone to know he arrived and was here to stay. He spent two weeks in the NICU only for us to be told he was the most happy go lucky attention craving little boy. He would kick and flail his arms around till someone gave him attention. He was mischievous and sneaky when he started to actually move around with crawling and walking. Erin found him on top of the kitchen counter once when she turned her back for a second. He was adventurous and sometimes it was better to just distract him instead of punishing him. He looked like Erin so I suspect that he's got her "take no shit" personality.

Madelena Violet made her appearance on her own time. Compared to Dom who was two months early, Maddie was two weeks late. Erin use to joke that she was comfortable were she was and did not want to be disturbed or evicted. She was calm; cried only when she had a wet diaper or needed to be fed. She sleeps all the time. She was the perfect balance to Dom's behaviors and personality.

"See, Mama!" Dominic smiled, dimples showing proudly as he punched with all his might into the couch cushion.

"Good Job Muhammad Ali." Erin joked.

"Pink? You dressed her in pink?" I stared in disbelief that my little girl was dressed in head to toe pink. "Er, we're watching a Bears game. Can't she wear that jersey I bought her?"

When I found out she was pregnant I might of went a little crazy just like I did when Dom was born. I made sure I had bought a jersey for the Cubs, Bears, Bulls, and Blackhawks for her to wear each game. It worked with Dom, it will work with her.

"Jay, she wears a lot of Dom's hand-me-downs already. Let her be dressed like a girl for once. Hell, you have Dom dressed in a Bears jersey. Isn't that enough?"

"Not when Ruzek is going to come over with Benji dressed in a Giant's jersey." I still did not understand how someone born and raised in Chicago would support teams from other states.

"So you have to out beat Ruzek? Are you sure Kim and I can leave you two alone with three kids? Three kids that will need more attention than a football game."

"I believe you can. I'm going to teach Dom and Maddie everything they need to know about football. You have to start young these days, Er. They now do try outs for peewee football. Dom has to make the best team."

"Great, you're going to be one of those parent's that get kicked out of their child's football game. I can see it now. Chicago Detective Kicked Out of Son's Football Game after being arrested for causing a fight." Erin rolled her eyes, sighing. "Ridiculous."

"Mama, Bears!" Dom cheered growling like a bear would do.

"Scary bear, Dom." Erin went along with the toddler.

Then Ruzek made his presence known with opening the front door proclaiming, "I've got the beer."

"This seems like a brilliant idea." Erin sighed. I could tell her mind was ticking just by the look on her face.

"I warned Ruzek he can't have more than two beers and Benji has to be clean and uninjured by the time we get back." Kim laughed entering the apartment with Benji in her arms.

"Same rules for you Jay. Got it?" Erin gave me her Mama Bear look.

"Damn you women," Ruzek complained. "Can't you trust us men to watch something we participated in the creation of?"

"Just like how Benji and Dom are trying to climb up the bookcase right now?" Erin pointed over to the bookshelves that held baskets full of toys that over flowed from their bedroom.

"Damn it, Ruzek!" I lifted myself off the couch running quickly to get the two toddlers down. "Boys go play. No climbing."

"That won't work." Kim stated placing a hand on her hip. "You two need to watch them."

"Maybe we'll just stay home." Erin shuffled her feet. "The sales start today, but we can wait right?"

They were going Christmas shopping for the kids. Being shoved into a Toys R' Us or any store similar seems like the worst idea ever. I'll stick to shopping online where they bring it to you.

"No, go. We promise we've got this." I promised her, "They're playing nicely in the corner that I could still see them when I'm watching the game. It will work out."

"Fine, anything happens call us immediately."

"They can trust us with guns but don't trust us with our own kids, Man, this sucks." Ruzek took a sip of his Bud Light.

"Behave," Kim warmed him. "Or become comfortable with sleeping on the couch at home."

"Damn it woman!"

I shook my head at him, praying everything will go well today. I could tell the apprehension Erin held when she handed Maddie over to me slowly. "I promise they'll both be okay, Erin, trust me. I do not want the wrath of Erin Lindsey if something did happen."

"Bring on the game." Ruzek cheered as I switched the game on.

 **-CPD-**

The game was going well. Comments were being thrown back and forth between Ruzek and myself. Dominic and Benji actually crashed in the corner play area for an hour but now were awake and demanding attention. As for Maddie, she was acting like a perfect angel.

"Go, go, go!" I screamed at the television. This was an intense game and it was Ruzek versus me to determine whose team is the best.

"Manning really needs to learn to pass the fucking ball." Ruzek mumbled under his breath sipping on his beer.

"Daddy he said a bad word." Dominic came and climbed onto my lap.

"Just don't ever repeat what comes out of his mouth, got it?" I laughed at him.

I had it good, two amazing children and a girlfriend that put up with me in a good way. Now I also had the Bears kicking the Giants asses.

"Dude, what smells?" Ruzek asked during the next commercial.

Next thing I knew Maddie screamed loudly, louder than I ever heard her scream, crying out from her crib.

"Crap." I placed Dominic on the ground and walked over to the playpen situated in the other corner of the room. Inside the crib laid a giggling Maddie who smelled horribly. "You would think this is funny." I was grateful Erin had the changing table out here, especially so when I lifted Maddie up and noticed it was everywhere. It was up her back seeping out of every possible exit. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Damn, Dude, what is wrong with your baby?" Ruzek peeked over my shoulder. Of course this would happen when Erin was out.

Bath, I thought to myself. That was what the shit covered princess needed at this time. "Can you get the water in the sink going?" I questioned him slowly removing the clothes that are going directly in the trash. I am not making myself or Erin clean those fucking clothes off.

"Dude, your daughter shit herself." Ruzek thought this was the funniest thing in the world. If I remember over hearing conversations of Kim and Erin, it was clear to me that Ruzek has never changed his son's diaper.

Walking with her at arms length away from me towards the kitchen sink- something I've seen Erin wash Maddie in every couple of days, my phone decides to ring. Dominic who is at the stage were he loves talking on the phone, playing games on the phone and taking selfies that turn out hilarious, ran and grabbed it from the end table, answering it with his typical 'yellow?'

"Daddy says Sissy shit herself." I heard Dominic say perfectly clear over the phone. I pray to god that it was only Erin on the other line and not someone important.

"Dom, who is it?" I quickly question him before he can tattle on whatever else he might have heard that happened today.

"It's Mama, Daddy." He giggled.

"Ruzek, care to talk to her, please?" I begged, quickly rinsing Maddie off. Of course her baby soap is in the bathroom since Erin went on a cleaning spree this past week and organized everything. Dish soap can't be that harmful, right? I used one hand to hold Maddie in place while the other was used to turn on the spray hose.

Spraying down my baby in the kitchen sink because she decided to shit herself is an awesome afternoon.

"Uh, Lindsey, he's kind of busy right now." Ruzek spoke nervously. I tried my best to listen to that conversation. "He's using the kitchen sink to spray her down with the house." He held back a laugh. "Well she shit herself, Erin, what do you expect two men to do about it?" His face turned serious till he looked at me, using a dish towel to dry her off only to have her pee down the side of my body; great. "Well he was using a dish towel to dry her but now I think he needs a shower cause your daughter just pissed on him."

"Do not tell her that, Ruzek!" I huffed at him. "Maddie V, what are you doing to your daddy right now?"

"Your woman wants you."

I gladly accepted the phone from him making my way to the bedroom to change myself and change Maddie. "She's gone wild, Er, let me tell you, wild. She's shitting and pooping all over the place."

Erin couldn't handle her laughter on the other end of the phone, " _I'm sorry, Jay but this is just too funny."_ She continued to laugh. " _I mean, you hosed her off in the sink?"_

"Where else was I supposed to clean her off in? She was covered in shit; loose, liquidy shit."

 _"Take her to the bathroom where her tub is to bathe her and her own soap?"_

"Yeah, I was not going to get shit on anything else. Dom and Benji loved it though, they wanted to play in it."

 _"Boys are disgusting."_ She shivered, " _I was just calling to say we are on our way back, but I'll need your help with something in the car."_

"Erin Lindsey, what did you buy?" I groaned. Bigger toys meant more parts for me to put together. I did not want to deal with that like I did last time with a fucking toy car that came in twenty pieces.

 _"Don't worry about it, both of them will love it, okay? Trust and believe in me. You and Ruzek are in charge of putting it together. We're stopping to get pizza for dinner. We'll be home in twenty. Be ready."_ And with that she hung up the phone one me.

"Baby girl, what are you doing to your Daddy?" I asked her as I stripped of the soiled clothes and put on clean clothes. "We need to keep you clean and pee and poo free." Maddie just sat on the bed, staring at me giggling slightly. "Yeah, yeah."

Twenty minutes later, one clean baby, two happy toddlers who were running around the couch pretending to be racecar drivers, and Ruzek and I exhaustedly watching the game, Kim walked in the apartment.

"Erin wants you by the car. We've got these three for now." Kim smiled evilly. She was hiding something, I knew it, but what exactly it was, I am unsure of. "Don't question, just go Jay."

She knew me too well.

"But Babe, it's the last two minutes of the game. Anything could happen!" Ruzek grumbled, crossing his hands over his chest.

"Ruzek get over the fact that your Giant's suck this season." I laughed passing off Maddie before exiting before Dominic could even tell I was gone.

Making my way towards the elevator and down to the parking garage level, I thought of the things Erin could possibly have bought. I had no clue. I know she discussed buying a play kitchen, but Voight said he'd get that for them for Christmas.

"Jay!" She yelled from the corner of the garage.

"What in the world did you buy?" I questioned before even saying hi to her.

She sent me a smirk and opened the car door. "Look and you'll find out."

I slowly pulled out the long, narrow, cardboard box to reveal a picture. "A crib?"

She nodded her head waiting for me to catch on. "Why would we need a crib?"

"Two and done is out the window." She snickered, "How do you feel about being three and done?"

I looked between her and the box, unsure how to respond. This couldn't be true; it was impossible in my mind. We were dead set on two and done. No marriage, only a relationship that was okay with us. "That Voight is going to murder me."

She let out a loud laugh and shook her head. "If a guy who I love is more worried about what Voight thinks instead of what the girl he loves thinks then I have a problem." I wrapped my arms tightly around her, giving her a soft kiss on the lips. "I would still make sure Voight doesn't have a gun when we tell him."

"Cause that's so reassuring."

"Maybe next time try to aim somewhere that is not inside me."

"I just aim and fire, Baby. Aim and fire."

 **-CPD-  
** **6 Months Later**

"He's perfectly healthy." The nurse walked in carrying the newest member, as of three hours ago, of the Lindsey-Halstead clan. "But we still need a name for him."

"We're working on that." Erin smiled proudly but answers softly as she slowly sat herself up.

It looked like a war zone when she was actually at the final stages of labor with pushing and baby's head coming out. I don't know why I wanted to watch this time. I almost passed out when Dom was born, and with Maddie I just refused to look at. Now this, being our last (I hope) I just wanted to see if I was man enough to watch and to prove Ruzek wrong.

I looked at her and sighed. We were having difficulties this time around with names. Dominic was easy, and his middle name, Parker, was one that Erin just really liked and I said sure too. Madelena's name came because I loved the nickname Maddie and so did Erin but Madeleine and Madison became too popular for us, and her middle name was another filler kind of name we both loved.

Right now it was a fight between Forrest, Atticus, Evander, Emerson, Judson, and Wesley. But to Erin, she thinks he looks like all of them and that if she picks one, he'll start looking like another one. To me, Forrest is way out there, to out there with siblings named Dominic and Maddie. But I talked her out of Shiloh, so Forrest can stay.

"I don't want to discuss it anymore." Erin pleaded. "I know we have to decide but I just don't want to pick the wrong name for him."

"Well we need to, Erin. Do you want him to be known as Baby Boy Halstead for the rest of his life?" I wanted to stop calling him, him. I wanted to call him by a name. Right now I'm pushing for Evander. I think it's just so fucking cool. It literally means 'Little Man' and that is what he is to me.

"Fine, fine, fine." She threw up her hands giving in as she slowly walked back from the bathroom.

"Why don't we each pick top three from this group? We must have one in common." I asked her, doing it just how we did it the last two times.

She nodded stealing her phone away to make her list. My top three was easy: Evander, Emerson or Wesley.

Erin's was slightly different. Atticus, Forrest, Evander.

"One in common." Erin spoke, "Out of all those names we only like one the most." She sighed in defeat.

"Personally, Evander is a kick ass name."

She let out another sigh before staring at the baby's angelic face. "Fine." She gave in. "He can be named Evander but Forrest is the middle name."

"Evander Forrest Halstead." I whispered his name causing him to gurgle enough for me to know what his 'poop face' will be like.

"Want to change his first diaper, Daddy?" Erin smiled trying not to wince in pain.

I could tell it was painful for her to bend over so I wanted to help with whatever was possible before the terrors arrived with Voight shortly. "Sure." I nodded my head.

"Remember to do what we had to do with Dom. Cover with the clean diaper when taking off the old diaper."

"I know what I'm doing." And I truly believed that. I knew what I was doing. I knew how to change a diaper. I think I've changed thousands by now.

"I'm just warning you."

Well maybe I should have listened too her because two seconds after I removed the tiny newborn dirty diaper, Evander decided to pee. Squirting it all over the front of my chest. He opened his eyes to look at me, almost like it was as if he was silently laughing at me. "Fuck."

"I tried to warn you." Erin managed to get out between her laughs. "Next time listen."

"Fuckin' hell. Dominic never did this shit."

"That's because I learned the trick of the trade after Benji peed on Ruzek." Erin spilled the beans on that one. "Just go wash up. It's only pee."

"It's like he's marking his fucking territory saying that you're off limits to everyone but him for the next year. Boobs should be mine. Healed up va-jay-jay, get it, should be mine."

"Are you telling your daddy to back off, little man?" Erin continued on with the joke. Maybe now you'll learn to share and be patient. Do we need to send you to preschool with all the other boys and girls who need to learn to share?" Erin continued to tease, sticking her tongue out at me playfully.

I leaned in to give her a kiss only for Evander to reach his tiny arms up and scratch me down my cheek. Who the hell would've thought newborn nails would be long and razor blades?

"That's it." I complained. "I'll just stay far away."

"Oh get over it. He's showing his dominancy over you. To tell you the truth he is much cuter and could probably get away with murder if he wanted too. Who could deny this little cute face anything?"

"A cuter, peeing machine."

"Maybe eventually I'll help him learn to aim and he'll teach you." Low, but funny, blow. "Daddy has no good aim."

I knew in that moment, three kids in and tons of jokes and memories that this was who I wanted to spend forever with. "Erin?" I asked capturing her attention. "What would you do if I asked you something right now?"

"Like what?" She was skeptical of my question.

"Wanna get married?" I looked at her. It was probably the most unromantic proposal but at least I given one. We were comfortable in how this relationship was going and knew we'd be together forever.

"See Vanny, your pee must be magical because Daddy finally did something smart." Erin looked between Evander, who I guess she is nicknaming Vanny for now, and myself before nodding her head upside down.

"Only you would relate my proposal and your son peeing in my face together." I laughed handing over the ring that sat in my pocket for almost a year now- totally again unromantic.

"And only you would propose by saying wanna get married, but you love me."

"And that I most definitely do."

 **The End.  
Don't know if I truly love the ending or not, but I rewrote it three times so this version will do. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary:** Being peed on by his own daughter is not exactly how he planned when it was determined that he and Ruzek would be on babysitting duty one afternoon. What other troubles arise when two detectives are left with three kids and theirs a football game on?

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zip. I'm a broke master's graduate looking for a job. Eventually I'll hopefully own something but the character's of CPD- yeah that will never happen.

 **So I continued this. I don't know if there will be anymore parts too it but how about Erin's point of view on potty training? Enjoy!**

 **Aim and Fire**

 **2\. Erin's Point of View**

"I gotta pee!" Maddie came running into the kitchen with her Disney Princess undies around her ankles and her princess summer dress pulled up around her stomach and her arms half way out of the dress. "Mama, I gotta pee now!"

Maddie surprised everyone. She ended up becoming a spitting image of me. Her eyes though remand the same color of her father's, blue with a hint of gray to them. She had spunk that I was unsure of were it came from. At three she made sure to have everyone's attention when she wanted it.

"Well baby, you know where the toilet is." I laughed at her. "Go!" I shoved her back to the small guest bathroom off the living room where two toilets sat side by side on the bathroom floor.

"But I stuck!" She crossed her legs doing her little pee dance that Jay laughed about.

This whole potty training started with that pee dance. Jay recognized she would do her pee dance before running into the corner and peeing in her diaper. At practically three years old, potty training had begun. Now two months later Evander joined in having to do what his sister was doing.

I looked at her and laughed, "You don't need to take off your dress every time you pee, Mads."

"But I don't want it getting dirty mama! Take it off!" She pouted and looked like she was about to explode any second. "Help!"

"Fine, fine, fine!" I gave in, shaking my head. Off went the dress and she was off towards the living room. Looking quickly at the clock I knew it was about to be time for Evander to try and go.

The concept of peeing on the toilet was still foreign for him. He enjoyed sitting on the toilet but peeing on it became a chore for him. He still enjoys peeing in his Mickey Mouse pull-ups.

"Vanny," I called out waiting for him to come running. Like a dog, anytime Evander's name is called he comes running. "Come on bud, we need to pee on the toilet now."

Evander came running, butt naked might I add, into the living room. "I peed today, Mama. No pee on potty again."

"That's not how it works, Vanny. You need to pee every so often." I laughed at him. Evander- Vanny or Van- is the type of kid that you always have to tell him 'that's not how it works' over and over again. He still doesn't get it. Oh well.

"No need too, Mama." He looked at me with those green eyes. "I peed in Mickey!"

I let out a groan and walked to the bedroom that was turned into a play room. I did not want all those toys taking over my house. I found the used pull-up in a ball in the center of the room. "Evander Forrest, what were you doing in here?"

"Shaking my booty." He giggled following my every move into the play room.

"Please tell me that you and Maddie aren't shaking your butts in the window again." I begged they weren't. You know how embarrassing it is for your neighbor's to come to a police officer's home to say that his kids are two youngest are shaking their naked bottom's at the world.

"Mama," Maddie joined us in the playroom in just her undies. "Mrs. Smith thinks it's funny."

Lord help my two nudest children.

"Okay my booty shakers, enough. I don't think Mrs. Smith really wants to see a white behind like yours in her window all the time." Then again I was tired of seeing naked behinds all the time. But then again, Jay said if they're actually using the toilet then let them be naked. He just doesn't have to witness it and I would really wish they could both go to preschool soon- thus needing to be potty trained. "We need to get you two dressed."

"Stay naked, Mama!" Maddie cheered.

"They'll take you away from Mama if I don't put clothes on you two."

"Daddy says naked is good behind door." Evander spoke clearly. I knew Jay would not say that. Hell he hated being naked in our own room with the risk of one of the three kids walking in on him.

"But Daddy also says we should listen to Mama when he's gone, doesn't he?" I questioned them, praying they'll approve of this. Both brunettes nodded their little heads up and down, approving of this. "Then we should listen to him, and then listen to me also."

There were days when I found the two sitting on the couch watching television in nothing but their undies with their hands in their pants similar to how Jay sits on Saturday and Sunday morning.

"Daddy does say only we can see each other naked and no boys can see me naked," Maddie spoke her mind. She was a young nudist. The amount of clothes, mostly dresses, that this girl owned and she'd rather be butt naked or just undies is beyond me. "I don't like clothes, Mama."

"Well when you're old enough to decide what you can and cannot wear then you can decide. Till then, Baby Girl, we need to get both of you dressed because we need to go get Dominic from the bus stop."

"Dom?" Evander's eyes lit up with building excitement.

The love the bigger brother has for the younger one shocked me. I am proud when I see Dominic stepping up and guiding his brother to the right choice, but at being five and two they helped each other. There were times Dom wanted to be left alone, and we guided Evander away and distracted him for some time till Dom was ready to play. The two shared a bedroom together decked out in different Disney Cars memorabilia.

"Yeah, but go get dressed first Van." I laughed as he sprinted towards the front door. Before he could respond I made it known that "Undies do not count as getting dressed. Put your shorts and shirt back on."

"Shucks." The two-year-old stomped his foot off to his room were I bet he stripped his clothes at last.

At first I tried to stop the stripping but hell there are some days were I'd rather strip down and remove the bra to be walking around the apartment in Jay's old t-shirts that I have stole over the years as my own and just undies but with two kids who are very curious I tend to wait till they're at Voight's for the night to do that.

With Maddie back in her dress and Evander back in his shorts and polo, we made it too the bus stop at the corner of the block of Brown Stones with the other much more put together than I was.

I use to be jealous of their nice outfits, make-up and hair that is down and not pulled back in a pony tail. Now I just realize that my kids are clean and dressed and that is all that matters.

"Hold each other's hand, guys, or Van you're going back in the stroller." I was nervous about this corner. Yes it was the semi-suburbs but this was the entrance into multiple apartment buildings and it was early rush hour at this time. That threat always works. I hate the stroller as much as he does but it works for busy shopping days.

Shortly the bus pulled up and Dominic ran off as fast as he could heading straight over to us. "Mama!" He cheered excitedly.

I accepted the hug knowing full well soon he will not want to hug me in public. "Hey Dom." I took the backpack from him, placing it in the stroller as we made our way back to the house. "How was school?"

"Mrs. Miller says that even though Gia peed her pants we can't pick on her." He said proudly. I laughed at the thought of him and this girl Gia who has become close friends with since Preschool years previous. "We can't pick on anyone."

"That is very true." I was proud of him for that.

He talked on and on about how so and so did this and so and so did that to get in trouble. I was nodding along keeping my eyes out for Maddie and Evander who were skipping in front of me at this moment. I snapped out of it when a horn of a car screeched right in front of us.

I recognized the SUV immediately and a smile went on my face. Jay was home, finally.

"Erin." He quickly jumped out, joining us on the sidewalk. "I see you got our nudest actually dressed?" He teased lifting both Maddie and Evander up into his arms. Those muscles make me swoon, especially when they are used taking care of your kids.

"Mama said we get taken away if we have no clothes on." Maddie spoke clearly, loud enough for the entire block to hear.

"That is probably true, Maddie." Jay laughed kissing her forehead. "We closed a case today and in honor of that Ruzek asked if we want to get dinner. Wanna join? I told them I'd pick you and the kids up and meet them at Paddy's for dinner."

"Can we go Mama? It's better than your cooking!" Dominic begged.

I normally would disagree with him but with the busy day I did not remember to take anything out for dinner and am craving a burger and fries. "Fine."

"It worked daddy!" Dominic cheered. "Just like you say!"

I stared at them confused before they high-fived and I just went along with it. I wanted my burger and was not going to let anyone stop that.

"Just get in the damn car." I laughed climbing in the front seat. "I want my burger."

 **-CPD-**

Walking into the busy restaurant I notice everyone was already there having most come from the station besides Kim who was helping Benji and their youngest son Calvin color at the end of the table.

I sent a wave to them, as we walked and put the diaper bag down on a chair and said our hellos.

"Bathroom for the younger two before we sit down." I stated thinking it would be easier. "Maddie and Van come on."

"No pee, Mama." Evander lifted his tired little head off of Jay's shoulder. "I did that earlier."

"Bud, you said you needed to pee in the car." Jay remembers, "Come on. You can use the big boy toilet."

"No pee." He complained, holding on to Jay's shirt even tighter.

"Come on, let's just try, okay?" Jay smiled softly, "Dom come on really quickly. Okay?"

"I'll take Maddie when you get back." I didn't want to be rude and ditch everyone at the table.

When Jay got back with the boys I knew something happened. I tried to hold in my laugh when Jay shook his head. "That boy needs to realize he has to aim. Fucking pee got everywhere except the toilet."

I couldn't hold in my laugh, and really couldn't when Kim responded with "Don't all boys still not know how to aim? I still have to clean the seat after this one goes." She quickly pointed to Ruzek.

"Hey, now don't drag me into that conversation." Ruzek discussed his opinion. "Aiming can be a difficult thing to do."

"Ruzek, keep it in your damn pants. No one wants to know that information." Voight shook his head sipping on the beer he held in his hands.

"Play the Cheerios game." Kim gave her advice as the boys went back to discussing sports. "Have him aim at them, worked for Benji."

"I'll try that next time." I smiled politely at her, thanking for the advice. The sitting is helping but aiming is something I wonder if it will take more time to practice.

After twenty minutes of talking, drinking and appetizers being passed around the adults were having the time of their lives.

"Daddy!" Maddie pushed herself in between the two of us. "I gotta pee!" Saying the last part as loud as she could. "I wanna use the big boy toilets like last time!"

"How about I take you?" I offered. The restaurant was packed and I do not want who knows who staring at my little girl. Over protective? Yes I am but I've seen the real world and I want to keep my kids young and innocent for as long as I could.

Silently debating my offer, Maddie shrugged her shoulders and grabbed my hand pulling me towards the restrooms in the back of the restaurant. "The handicap ones open, baby. Go in there and I'll come with you."

"No, Mama. I'm a big girl! I do it myself!" She made her opinion known, stomping her feet and pouting. "You stay here!"

"Okay baby, don't lock the door. I'll be right here." I nodded and held the door shut. If that door locked who knows how'd I unlock it. Last time I had to climb under the door and that is uncomfortable in a public restroom. "I'll be here waiting, Mads."

"Mama?" After silence period Maddie called out almost embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"Baby Girl what happened?" I questioned closing the door behind me so no body could see.

"They wet." She stuck her bottom lip out about to cry. "I tried!"

I sighed noticing the nice wet spot going on the back of her undies. "Okay, okay. It's okay." I helped her strip off her undies throwing them in the trash can. I did not have the diaper bag with the extra undies so she's going to have to go nude under her dress. If she stayed seated on the chair I don't think we should have a problem.

"Mama those my favorite! It has Cinderella on it!"

"I'll just buy you more ones, okay? Now you can't lift up your dress baby girl." I wanted to just get her home. Who knows how my three year old will act without undies on?

"Mama, I don't wanna go nakie under my dress. People can see it, see!" As loud as she could, Maddie spoke lifting up her dress showing everyone in the bathroom how she was not wearing undies.

"Put that dress down." I embarrassingly stated, pulling it down. "Wash your hands, Maddie and let's go." I rushed through washing her hands, ignoring the laughter coming from all around and rushed out of there.

"Daddy!" Maddie screamed running straight for him at the table. "I naked! Wanna see?"

"Madelena, no one wants to see under your dress." Jay warned her. Only she did not like that warning. Two seconds later she lifted the back of her dressed and shook her butt for the whole table to see.

"Mad," Jay hissed taking her into his arms. "No."

"You can't stop the booty shaker, Daddy!" Maddie said so seriously. "No one can!"

"I think you should invest in a nudest colony now while its still cheap." Ruzek commented. Always the worst comment's come out of his mouth.

"Uncle Ruzek naked is good." Maddie agreed with him.

"Not in public and don't you dare defend her, Ruzek or so help me god I will apologize to Kim for you not being able to have anymore kids." I hissed, warning him with a look of terror that everyone is afraid of.

"Watch the daggers, Erin. Damn." Ruzek laughed along.

"Daddy, wanna hear something I learned today?" Dominic yelled quite loudly for everyone to hear.

"Sure, bud. Just tell me." He was preparing for the worst. Last time Dominic said this, he and Benji made fart noises for hours till we threatened them.

"If you eat a lot of nuts then you get balls!" He was so serious that made the whole table crack up laughing. "And mama said the bigger the balls the tougher the person!"

I couldn't help but continuing on laughing. This was my life right now and I was damn happy with it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary:** Being peed on by his own daughter is not exactly how he planned when it was determined that he and Ruzek would be on babysitting duty one afternoon. What other troubles arise when two detectives are left with three kids and theirs a football game on?

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zip. I'm a broke master's graduate looking for a job. Eventually I'll hopefully own something but the character's of CPD- yeah that will never happen.

 **Aim and Fire  
** **3\. Erin's Point Of View**

"Mama!" Dominic stormed into the room ready for school. I've never seen a little kid so excited for school as he is, but I encourage it. He has to gain that knowledge somewhere that I know would not be from Jay. "It's time to get up! We going to the zoo today!"

I groaned forgetting that I had a moment of insanity and signed up to be a chaperone on this class trip while I drag along Maddie and Vanny through the zoo and three other pre-schoolers plus the help of Kim. Benji, Dom and their three closest companions in a class of fifteen and Maddie, Vanny and Calvin with Kim and I seems like a brilliant idea now- sarcasm if you can't understand that.

"That's today?" I moaned a complained as he jumped onto of me with excitement. "Maybe daddy will go instead."

I've been trying hard to convince him to go. He likes these field trip things. I'm not the whole class mom act that everyone thinks I can be.

"Yeah, I'm not going to a zoo with a bunch of little kids. Count me out." Jay made his opinion known to all and I kicked him right in the shin the hardest I could under the covers. "Damn it Erin, really?"

"Voight always said a girl has to protect herself." I smirked proudly knowing how well that kick can be used to work. "I could use your help today, Jay."

"Nope. There's a case going on and I told you not to signed up to become a stupid chaperon but you didn't listen to me."

"I was high on life, Jay. You can't blame me." I shrugged because that day I remembered I had a stomach virus going around the family which ended with Jay getting it and being the biggest baby out of all four.

"Mama come on, we need to wake up! Benji's coming!" Dominic cheered louder. The bond between Benji and Dominic was adorable and they both were so similar to their father's that it made everything hilarious. Ruzek and Halstead 2.0. Thank God Kim was coming with us, I'll need her help. If I had to chaperon, so did she.

"Good luck with mini Ruzek, babe. You'll need it." Jay laughed climbing out of the bed.

"I deserve a bottle of whiskey waiting for me on the counter when I get home!" I called after him.

"Good think I know you," he winked playfully, "cause whiskey makes your clothes fall off."

"Mama, striping is no good!" Dominic voiced something he has heard about multiple times. Let's be serious, being around a bunch of grown ass men who act like children when together this may happen. It's life.

"Bud, go watch some cartoons for a little." I shoved him quickly out of the room not wanting to deal with someone so excited at only seven in the morning. Don't blame me for not being a morning person. "Keep the volume low though, don't wake your brother up."

Brilliant idea by Jay to allow Evander, a two-year-old terror, to sleep on the couch for however long her wanted to because supposedly the car that has been on his brother's pillow from across the room scares him. The couch or our bed were the only option and let's face it, my bed is my area. No kids allowed over night in my kingdom of a bed.

"Jay please." I begged pouting slightly at him. If it worked on Voight, why wouldn't it work with Jay? "I'm gonna need help. Yeah Kim will help some but Maddie is basically done potty training and Van, well he's still a hot mess with it."

"You started him on that, you deal with it." Jay hopped in the shower washing off from the night and day before. "Erin it won't be that bad. Stroller for Van and Maddie. Dominic can walk."

I nodded knowing he won't see me responding. "That's not the point. Four other kids, just as hyperactive as Dominic will kill me."

"Then now you two both know not to sign up for field trips." Jay laughed. I quickly climbed out of bed and opened the shower curtain sticking my head in.

"Next time I'm gonna make sure you and Ruzek are going to be signed up for these field trips. Then you'll know how it will be." I playfully stomped off knowing in minutes he'll follow me- or well he use too. Now he just lets me throw these fits. "Whiskey Jay! Whiskey!"

"Mama, spiderman isn't on." Dominic became annoyed pouting on his cherubic face. That pout made me laugh. I've seen it on Jay multiple times.

"Well find something else to watch, Dom. Right now I'll make everyone breakfast instead of daddy cause he's in trouble." I continued to tease and could hear Jay laughing from the bedroom. How Evander didn't wake up is beyond me.

"Mama?" Maddie came slowly walking out of her bedroom with her hair all in her face and the stupid stuffed bear Voight gave her the day she was born.

"Come here, Baby Girl." I opened my arms for her and she took off running towards them. "How'd you sleep?"

"Loud." She sighed, digging her head into my shoulder. "Seepy, Mama."

"We're going to the zoo today, Baby. Doesn't that seem fun?" I tried to brighten her excitement when Jay walked in. It was my turn to get ready while the oatmeal began to cook. "She needs to pee and I need to shower. You're in charge for ten minutes."

Ten minutes to get showered and dressed made me a pro. I never thought it was physically possible but it is and I do it every morning or during nap time just so Jay thinks I did something productive that day.

Showering quickly and throwing on a blue shirt because we had to wear the same color as the students. It was one of Jay's that had CPD written on it. I didn't want to deal with ruining one of my own shirts.

"That's it, no more undies. Back to pull ups for you!" Jay yelled loudly followed by "Van, get back here!"

I know I should go help him, but I'd rather not. Let him suffer for refusing to join me on this annoying class trip.

"Mama!" A naked toddler ran straight for me practically knocking me over in the process. "I naked!" He giggled.

I loved that giggle. It lighten up every bad day. "Naked booty, where's your clothes?"

"I peed in dem'." He shrugged as if nothing was wrong with it. "Nemo wanted to swim!"

"Nemo wanted to swim, huh?" That was the first time I've ever heard that before.

"He needed water!"

"And to you, water is pee?" I nodded holding in my laughter. "Okay then, let daddy put clothes on you and then we'll get ready for the zoo, okay?"

"Cal?"

I nodded in response, "Yes baby Cal will be there. But you need clothes before you can join."

Please explain why I have to inform my kids that clothes are not an option during the day? If they want to go out in public they need clothes. Pull-ups and undies do not count as clothes.

He shrugged his shoulders jumping out of my arms and ran off into Jay's. "Undies Jay. No pull-ups. I'd rather break that habit while it was in the beginning phase of starting again. "He can pick out a pair."

Jay rolled his blue eyes and sighed. "He's your mess today." He laughed.

Some days I wanted to strangle that man!

 **-CPD-**

Lesson one I learned so far: a bus with fifteen preschoolers, the two teachers, seven parental chaperons, and ten siblings is the worse idea imaginable. Maddie taught Evander that you can crawl under the seats- even seat belted- to see Dominic, Benji, Kim and Cal sitting behind us.

Lesson two so far, I do not remember any of these kids names. People are naming their kids the strangest things these days. Two boys in this one group where Ayden, Brayden and one girl Jayden. Umm, how am I not supposed to get those all confused. They all sounded the same.

Lesson three that I learned was that the school picked the hottest day this spring to head to the zoo. I hate the heat and I officially hate the zoo when it smells like shit.

"This is torture." Kim complained shifting Cal in her arms, "absolute torture."

"Trust me, I know." I sighed taking a seat on the bench right in front of the lions area.

"Who's who again?" Kim asked in a whisper tone as we walked into the eating area where we were going to meet the rest of the classmates for lunch.

I of course didn't pack anything and ended up spending fifty something dollars on two grilled cheeses and one chicken fingers and a salad for myself. Jay will get over it.

"Guys all sit down and we'll hand everyone their meals, okay?" I stated calmly plastering a smile on my face. I had to learn clues to learn whose who. "Jayden." I handed her her's first since she's the only girl and the only one with a princess pink lunch bag. "Brayden?" He stuck his little hand up in the air. Brayden had glasses- remember that Erin! That meant Ayden was the red head. Perfect.

"Make sure everyone washes their hands off first, please." Kim went around with hand sanitizer

With the kids munching on their food, Kim and I spoke about everything and anything under the sun.

"Next time I declare we are sending Jay and Ruzek to do this. I can't handle these other moms and" in a softer tone "these other kids." They weren't bad, it was just over powering to watch so many more kids than one is use too.

"Let's make it good." Kim decided to think long and hard. "How about we send them to Disney on Ice? You think if we accidentally buy tickets for the princess one they'd get upset?"

"That's too easy. There'd be beer there. We need something worse." I thought and we started throwing out random ideas.

"More babies." Kim laughed out. "That would give both of them heart attacks."

"Yeah, I'm not planning on anymore." I broke it to her. "How about a girls weekend? No boys, no kids, drinking on a beach far, far, far away from everyone for the weekend. Florida? Jamaica? Bahamas?"

"Come on pretty mama?"

"Enough of the Beach Boys moment. What do you think?"

"Mama?" Maddie came over so innocent. "Can we go play?"

I looked over at the play ground equipment in the locked in area of the eating space for schools and other events and then looked at her food. Half the grill cheese gone, fries all gone and one chicken tender she stole from Evander gone. "Let everyone else finish eating. When everyone is we will all go over there, okay?"

"We're all done, Mama!" Dominic yelled and they were off. All seven kids climbed off the bench seating and ran as fast as their legs could handle to meet their peers.

"Of course we'll clean up," Kim rolled her eyes. "You go watch, I'll clean up."

I nodded and slowly followed them staying away from the rest of the parental chaperons. I didn't have time in my life to deal with petty friendships and everyone bragging at how quickly their child accomplished a new task. I didn't care if their son or daughter is reading perfectly. It doesn't matter to me.

I sat my hot sweaty ass on the bench furthest away watching Calvin, Evander and Maddie like a hawk. Compared to these older kids, they were small and weaklings.

"Mama?" Dominic walked over with the smallest in the bunch of kids I'm supposedly watching, a girl Jayden. "Jayden doesn't feel good."

"Come sit for a little." I smiled softly offering my arms for a comfort hug. "Relax a little."

"My mama says we shouldn't eat fast but…" Before this little girl could finish her sentence everything that Jayden ate at lunch moments before ended up all over my shirt.

I had to catch myself before letting out a curse word. "Ugh."

Immediately a teacher and other chaperones made their way over to me. I lifted the big shirt up catching whatever chunks of I'm not sure what from falling all over me.

"I'm sorry." Jayden cried out and I felt bad. She was a little girl but I did not want to spend this trip covered in puke.

"Jayden, honey come on let's go get you cleaned up." One of the teacher's apologetically smiled at me as she guided the young student away from the group surrounding me. "We'll split up your group. You have Kim help you clean yourself up."

Now to get myself cleaned. I fucking hated myself for not wearing a tank top under this shirt today. I was so close to putting one on but didn't. This shirt was a goner. It was too late to save it and I'm not carrying around a soiled shirt for the rest of the day.

"Okay." I composed myself. "Kim can you keep an eye on Maddie and Van? I'm gonna go find a new shirt."

Being a freaking zoo, I get stuck choosing between two shirts. Both corny in their own sense but I deal, picking the most childish one so that I can give it to Maddie to use as a bed time shirt.

Supporting a brand new shirt that had a giraffe and a lion with the lion on stilts saying "I'm a genius".

I was ready to get this day over with.

 **-CPD-**

"Daddy!" As soon as I opened the front door Dominic was off searching for Jay who I knew was home because of his car was parked in the driveway. He better have figured out dinner or something. I'm hungry, tired and want a strong glass of whiskey. "It was awesome! Mama got puked on!"

You got puked on?" Jay cracked up laughing. "Payback for laughing at me getting peed on all the time."

"Mama I want my lion!" Maddie yelled. While doing our pit stop at the gift shop- who in their right name put the exit of a zoo where hundreds of children visit a day- inside the gift shop?

I couldn't handle the screaming anymore. I was ready to burst. "In the bag, Maddie. Then in bed, all of you." I pointed to her and implied Evander also because he was fast asleep in my arms. Lucky kid.

Twenty minutes later after tears and sniffles Maddie managed to cry herself to sleep. I was not dealing with it. I had them all day, Jay could put them to bed.

After I quickly showering, cleaning off the stench that I felt was still on me, I walked into the kitchen grabbing the whiskey that Jay actually purchased for me and a glass before making it to the couch. A peaceful movie and tons of whiskey sounds like my kind of way to end the night and kick off the weekend.

"Starting without me?" Jay walked out in just pajama bottoms as I sipped down the whiskey allowing it to burn my throat on the way down.

I took my bottle from him, "Mine, not yours. You don't deserve this."

"Keep on drinking, Erin because we know whiskey makes your clothes come off."

"As if you're getting any. Not until your snipped. Snipped I tell you. No more kids. Got it? I'm not risking it. Baby factory is shut down for good. No sex, no nothing till your snipped. Fuck other kids."

"But Erin…" Jay complained pouting. "Please?"

"You're worse than Maddie you know?"

"But it works and you love me." He teased kissing me softly on the forehead before stealing my cup. "Get your own, Jay." I wanted my drink so I punched him in the balls.

"Fuckin' hell, Erin." Jay winced rolling in a ball on the ground.

"Now I know no more babies." I grabbed my cup and the bottle, swaying my hips back and forth seductively. He was gonna get snipped and I was gonna wait, legs cross and chastity belt on till that happens. I have a handy friend after all, battery operated boyfriend.

One month wouldn't be that long, right?


End file.
